No, You May Not Pumpkin All the Things [DEBATE]

Guys, this has got to stop. It's not funny anymore.

I'll defer to one of my all-time favorite people when it comes to my feelings on this unsavory subject:

I would like to see the pumpkin spice craze drowned in its own blood. Quickly.

Somehow, thanks to the the Starbucks hype train (and all you basic bitches out there), pumpkin spice now heralds the start of fall. And okay, it wasn't so insufferable at the start. I will humbly admit that I embraced the basic-ness and was the writer of many cringeworthy Facebook posts about the first PSL of the year. (Thanks a lot, Facebook Memories, for reminding me how much I've grown.)

#sobasicithurts

But when pumpkin spice started to infiltrate every freaking product known to man at the grocery store—when I found myself staring with dead eyes at pumpkin spice hummus (!!) and pumpkin spice dog treats (?!), I knew that enough was enough.

Pumpkin is over now... Well, America, pumpkin spice is the spice you deserve.

How did we get in this hellish place?

"Pumpkin spice" as a flavor is derived from the spices that usually accompany pumpkin in a pie; namely, cinnamon, cloves, nutmeg, and ginger. These spices (sans ginger) were first documented in a recipe for "pumpion" pie in 1671 by an English cookbook. However, pumpkin pie eventually made its way to the United States—as of 1796, an American cookbook listed a "Pompkin Pudding" recipe that very closely resembles the pies we bake today. They were considered a New England regional specialty for Thanksgiving dinners until Abraham Lincoln made Thanksgiving a national holiday in 1863... and then, its deliciousness infiltrated the entire country.

It was such an innocent beginning...

Pumpkin Spice Lattes, the progenitor and OG of this terrible food trend, were first introduced on Starbucks' menu 13 years ago... and due to its limited-time-offer appeal, quickly became an unstoppable hit.

Don't get me wrong, now—pumpkin-flavored foods and pumpkin products were a part of the seasonal market before the PSL ever debuted. But the racket after all of these marketing execs saw how much money they could make off of limited-time pumpkin-flavored things has exceeded my worst nightmares—and I know I'm not alone in thinking that this has got to stop.

No one ever asked for this.

Trader Joe's, I'm looking at you. Your Fearless Flyer for October is literally 24 pages of pumpkin-flavored products that make me die a little inside.

I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!

Not pictured: aforementioned pumpkin dog treats and and pumpkin-spiced... pumpkin seeds. (We have to go deeper...? No, we don't.)

Where do you stand on the Great Pumpkin Spice Divide? Are you filled with bile at the thought of another poorly-conceived, pumpkin-flavored food? Or do you revel in the consumerism of pumpkin spice-flavoring all the things? Let us know in the comments.

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Cover image by Mike Mozart/Flickr